Because that’s what I am, and I’m not ashamed of it. I’m proud of it!

I don’t like work. More subtly, I don’t like work that I shouldn’t have to do. I want the maximum yield for the minimum effort, defining yield not just as food, but as pleasure: Simply sitting in the sun in the lawn chair, listening to bees bumbling by, and spotting the occasional hummingbird counts for a lot, or would, if we could count pleasure. Why would I want to be working if I don’t have to?

That’s why I like sheet mulch. No weeding and very little watering. Weeding is work; it is, in fact, “stoop labor.” Why would anybody want to do it if they can avoid it? Peasants by the millions leave the country for the city to avoid it! Ditto watering (which if you’re not capturing it also costs money).

And that’s why I like winter sowing. Put the seeds in the milk jugs, set the milk jugs out, wait two months, boom. (Not to tempt the evil eye: No more milk jugs than yesterday’s have sprouted!* Still, it’s not really warm yet [crossed fingers]). No grow lights (money). No peat pots, or any other kind of pot (money). No trays (money). No moving trays about the house and then out in the garden (work). You get the idea.

I hope throughout the growing season I’ll have many more opportunities to explain how lazy I am!

I’m still “The iPad Gardener, though.” Using the iPad, for me, is all about learning to see. It’s not about using garden software to help me make decisions. I think I’ll make good decisions — that is, decisions that help me avoid work — only by really seeing what’s happening on this patch of land, and garden software, at best, operates at the level of climate zone, and not even micro-climate).

NOTE * IIRC, the rule of thumb is that 75% of milk jugs germinate. In past years, I have done much better than that.

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